The erratic adventures of shay & jax
Person A: "ZOMG!! X does Y!" Person B: "Cool! But how do we know that X does Y?" Person A: "Umm, because this one person said so?" Person B: "That doesn't sound too convincing..." Person A: "Yeah, but lots of people repeated it!" Person B: "So there's no actual independent, peer reviewed evidence?" Person A: "ZOMG!! You're so blind to THE TRUTH!! Don't you know that THE MAN controls ALL media streams and scientists and whatnot?!?!?!" Person B: "Besides the ones that agree with you, you mean?" Person A: "WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!1!!eleven!" Person B: "..." Yes, it's been one of those days. Also, I don't like these new fonts I've chosen. Someone fix that for me?
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So, the UK has voted, and the system that we rather optimistically refer to democracy has rewarded us with one of the most unrepresentative parliaments I can recall. And before anyone accuses me of being a poor loser, the fact is that the UKIP loons should currently have 80-odd seats . The prospect of a Tory/UKIP coalition should terrify any sane person, but at least that would be an honest reflection of the will of the nation. As it stands, our system effectively renders the votes of 2/3 to 3/4 of the electorate meaningless.
And then we wonder why people are disaffected with politics. What I do find quite interesting is how Tory voters seem to be keeping their heads down about the whole thing – or at least they are in public. Three people I know have ‘fessed up. Given that one of them is the daughter of a hedge-fund manager, and the other is a Conservative councillor, I wasn’t surprised by their votes, but I know quite a few other people who are Tory supporters who have been very quiet about the whole thing. Possibly they are feeling a bit sheepish about having cast a vote for five more years of kicking the poor, the disabled, and anyone that doesn’t have a Home Counties accent. The main defence I’ve heard offered for voting Tory is that ‘they’re better than Ed Milliband’. Now I would struggle to argue with the fact that Mr Millibean has spent much of this election campaign making himself look like an unelectable fuckwit, but is he really worse than the party that told us, up front, that it planned to make the most vulnerable poorer, repeal the Human Rights Act (and apparently replace it with something that's like, totally different, and loads better) and jimmy the next election in their favour? Then again, when you’re choosing between a well-meaning idiot and a slick sociopath, it almost makes turd sandwiches and giant douches look appealing. And Argyle are still crap. Anyway, at least my beard is looking good. Priorities an' shit. Busy, busy, busy! Drinky, drinky, drinky! In the last few weeks, we've had our annual trip to Shaldon, a picturesque village nestled on the banks of the river Teign. Me, the Boss, and a few friends go every year to walk for miles along the coast paths, and then eat too much food and drink too much beer. Last year a game of Cards Against Humanity, and a post-Shaldon colouring in competition were added to the mix, which I mentioned here. This year was a bit less walky and even more drinky, when one of our party realised that the only footwear he'd brought with him from Brighton were cowboy boots. Oh dear... However, I did decided that, as I am clearly not unhealthy enough, I'm going to take up smoking a pipe. The following weekend it was the Wessex Beardsmen's beard and moustache competition. As with the Brits last year, I entered the Business Class category, and won nowt. Brook's typist will be so disappointed in me. :/ However, just like at the Brits, we had an absolutely fabulous day, meeting some old friends and making a bunch more. And I had a burlesque artist sniff my beard, which is a first for me. The photos are starting to trickle in. Both the official photographers asked me to look 'serious', but I seem to have ended up looking more 'stern', or possibly even 'a bit stabby...' Yes, I do have a dent in my forehead. Forceps. It's purely aesthetic, and didn't do any real damage. I mean, everyone blacks out for days, and wakes up covered in blood occasionally, right?
The UK goes to the polls soon, and I will avoid talking too much about that here because I will probably start ranting. I will just have a brief froth about the 'if you don't vote, don't complain' posts that are starting to appear everywhere. I'm going to go along and cast my utterly worthless Green vote in a safe Tory seat because, well, because I'm an idiot. And the polling station is next to the pub. However, I live in a democracy that manages to exclude and alienate huge swathes of people - even those that do vote - and then blames them for feeling excluded or alienated. So if you've taken a look at the candidates and don't see anyone you want to vote for, or you've realised that you may as well burn your ballot card for all the political representation actually voting will bring, then I please do moan, whether you vote or not. Please do kick up a fuss. And if you're simplifying the argument down to 'don't vote/don't moan', please take a moment to realise that not all non-voter are not politically engaged. Many are simply opting out of a system they feel is broken anyway. Anyway, what do I know? :P Whilst having a bit of lunch on Thursday I listened to an interview with Arsenio Hall where he pointed out that he thought Vanilla Ice was a fantasist and a bit of a bellend. No great shocks there then. But, for reasons best known to themselves, some clown had posted a rant about 'some chick' who gets naked and then doesn't want to have sex. His complaint seemed to be that if you don't rape her she'll tell all your girlfriends that you're not a real man, and if you do rape her you will, quite unreasonably, be arrested and thrown in jail.
And then someone called him a beta fag. *le sigh* Now let's put aside the fact that any woman that changes her mind during a sexual encounter is probably quite unlikely to be sitting around drinking coffee with friends the next day going "and the fucking little beta fag didn't even slap me around and rape me! Where have all the real men gone?" What exactly does being an alpha/beta male have to do with being a bit rapey? And yet it was brought up because certain kinds of men feel the need to constantly make out that they are peak of masculinity. And it does my fucking head in. Now look, I don't have any problems with masculinity. I'm a short, fat hairy dude with a beard - no-one is ever likely to accuse me of metrosexuality. I grew up listening to hip hop and hardcore punk, two musical styles not exactly renowned for for being overwhelmed with touchy-feely New Man types. Even so, it seems that cult of the alpha (and the closely linked cult of the Dominant) is everywhere at the moment, with a small but vocal collection of numpties opining on how all women are bitches and sluts (presumably this does not include their mums, but I suppose you never know) and the relative merits of creatine brands, brah. That'll push humanity forwards then. And yes, the cult is alive and well in Popmundo. Think about it: how many male characters are handsome, sauve, dominant, infallible and hung like a babies arm? Too many, that's how many. And it doesn't seem to matter whether the writers are male or female. At least we are, thankfully, relatively free of the more aggressive kind of meatheat - small mercies. Okay, rant over I guess. There's nothing wrong with a well written alpha male, although they are probably going to be an pretty unlikable character. But, hey, it worked for 50 Shades and Banshee, right? The problem (in inverted commas - it's probably only a problem for grumpy bastards like me) is when they are presented as good guys rather than deeply flawed. That's having your cake and eating it. Right! Enough of that! First person to call me a beta fag gets a biscuit. Shay and V have been a little sleepy the last few days because I have either been drunk or asleep (or lifting, or fucking bitches brah!*) Those 'let's pop out for a quick pint' evenings are deadly... I promise to be a little more talkative next week. You must all be over-joyed... :P * If the boss sees that, I'm going to get such a whithering look... |
WTF?!This site contains out-of-character information for characters and events in the MMO Popmundo, as well as general navel-gazing and apologies for never updating. "If you are offended by words like: Shit! Bitch! Fuck! Dick! Ass! Whore! Cum!" Ice-T
Who the Hell?!
The author is a professional person in his mid-30s, old-school Hip Hop head, Punk Rock fan, Plymouth Argyle supporter, comic book reader, and general lo-fi nerd. He lives in the countryside with two cats and newly-wed wife, all of whom seem to be above him in the pecking order. He is a big fan of tea, fig rolls, H.P. Lovecraft, facial hair and quiffs. While MPB robbed him of his quiff-rocking dreams, he does sport a dope handlebar moustache. Categories
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