The erratic adventures of shay & jax
Well, maybe not all. Just the cute ones. Like Roger. And why, I hear you ask? Well, I dunno. Maybe it's the rugged jawline, or the burly, muscled frame, or the sensitive poets soul, or the... Okay, got distracted there for a minute! :D Let's try this again: fuck all y'all for not updating your weeblies and generally entertaining me in my coffee breaks. I miss Rice's lunatic rants, memes and inappropriateness. I miss Bagel's snark. I miss the lady behind the Foulquiers in general. I miss Roger's toned abs and perfect buns. *sigh* Anyhoo, let's focus on the positives. It's raining. If it continues to rain for the next week, it will surely aid ticket sales for the beard and moustache competition that the boss and I are hosting next week, in aid of the local air ambulance charities. (Yes, that's right - I dunno how it works in developed countries, but here in the UK, these essential life-saving services exist thanks to ordinary people volunteering their time and money - but that's a whole other rant!) The Ashes is now under way in both the men's and women's forms of the game. I hold out a lot more hope of us being successful in the women's Ashes than the men's, but as neither test has gone the way I expected so far, what the fuck do I know? Other than the fact that Bell just has to be dropped now, as having this bad a run of form in such a highly scrutinised series can surely be doing him no good at all. The result of the women's 2nd one-dayer was disappointing, but the game itself was excellent to watch. Meg Lanning's century was a joy to watch, and her run out of Charlotte Edwards at mid-wicket would have been a thing of beauty, if it wasn't a bleddy Aussie doing it! What else? Well in the strange world of Popmundo, Jax is going to be playing football (I grit my teeth and use soccer when in character, but here? Never!) for Barcelona next season. Well, he's more likely to be watching games from the bench, but such is life. Shay has finally told Lily that he used to be Shayna. Obviously she reacted with the kind of small-minded revulsion that you'd expect from such a intolerant hatemonger. I think we all know that that one is pure evil, a fact further highlighted by her continuing to hide her ongoing relationship from poor Shay. No doubt she plans to reveal the truth when it will cause the most emotional scarring... *attempts a serious face* And, because we haven't had one in forever, bask in the almost impossible loveliness of Gogo Blackwater. Have a good weekend - and write more blogs!
18 Comments
Finally got Jax's page up. I'm quite enjoying him so far - he's a little bit darker than any of the other character without (hopefully) straying into being one of those deep, brooding, 'troubled' characters that seems to make up one in three Popmundians. Basically he's a guy who was a bit of a fucking idiot as a younger man, who's trying to put it all behind him.
Jackson's faceclaim is Jack Gallowtree, who was suggested by the lady behind the Foulquiers. Not only is Mr Gallowtree a talented tattoo artist and a model, as far as I can tell from reading a few interviews with him, he also seems like a thoroughly nice chap. So, yeah - I pretty much hate him already. :D I also tweaked Shay's page, as I don't think 'wiry' applies any more. Let's just say that he filled out. Also Bagel will be pleased to note that his taste in beer has improved. Speaking of Shay, another single release has been slightly fucked up. This has happened enough now that I'm thinking about fucking them all up, and making it a thing. Lily is still in a relationship with Callum. Shay hasn't found out yet, the poor lummox... :'( The Ashes start dreckly. I was thinking that it was going to be a summer of shoeings, but our performances against New Zealand, and Ryan Harris' retirement has made me wonder if we might just give a good account of ourselves. A win is probably beyond us, but a narrow loss (or even a drawn series) while blooding some new players, that would be a success of sorts. No tattooed women - someone remind me about that next time. 10 years ago, UK screens were first graced by the presence of self-facilitating media node that was Nathan Barley. This is the first of two cultural references that may pass readers in some part of the world by, but I promise to make it up to you later with pictures of ladies with tattoos. Maybe. If you're lucky. If you haven't watched Nathan Barley then you really, really need to. I don't know if the show was as prescient as the Graun makes out. Even growing up on the moon (aka Plymouth) and going to uni in Bournemouth, the world was already shrinking. By the time Nathan Barley was shown, I was all too aware of the Shoreditch twat and the Hoxton fin. Nathan distilled all of that into one perfect, pompous, two bluetooth headset-toting bellend, who was still strangely endearing. Today elements of that subculture are being seen more and more. Hipsters are like rats these days - you're never more than 6 feet from one. And yet, as much as we sneer (and goodness knows I sneer) it's not really the end of the world, is it? You're not very likely to get glassed in a hipster bar (although I image that Kilner jars would make a fine assault weapon). Growing up in 90s Plymouth, where the local NHS trust opened a minor injuries unit specialising in treating such injuries, and police and Provost meatwagons would perch on every side road off of Union Street, I can't say that I mind a little gentrification. And while there's much to mock about the worst excesses of hipsterism, that's true of every subculture. When I tell people that I like hip hop, I think many of them are immediately surprised that I don't throw gang signs and call everyone blud. Which I do, obviously, but only when I go to visit my parents. Anyway - Nathan Barley. Go watch it; it's totally fucking Mexico. The second section of this blog which will make many eyes glaze over begins now. That's right, cricket references are back!! Err, except that I'm a little out of the loop on the cricket front. Is KP still playing? :P Okay, maybe not that far out of the loop. The England one-day side have gathered a little momentum of late. Freed from the turgid pace of Ali Cook's batting, Ian Bell. Moeen Ali, Eoin Morgan and James Taylor (minus the rest of the quartet) all look like proper limited overs batsmen, with guys like Root, Buttler and Bopara to back them up. Our attack is pretty decent too. The problem is that we still look a step or two below the top sides like Australia and New Zealand, both of whom are in our group. So no World Cup victory for us, but I think we'll do better than many expect. Are you poor foreigners bored yet? There, there - the nasty sport has gone away now. Well maybe not just because. The tenuous link is that I'm still thinking of recycling V as Ellis, and wondered whether to make the leap to using Kandy K as her faceclaim. But, yeah - mostly just because.
Yeesh, typos galore! Anyway... Half a day more of hecticness and I'm on holiday. GET IN!! I'm not jetting off anywhere for the week. In fact I plan to be quite busy, but busy doing stuff I've chosen to do, so happy days. On Friday I'm off to (hopefully) sunny Dartmouth for my mate's stag. I'm the Best Man, and have done a fair bit of running around organising this, but it's all done, and nearly time to get drunk. We're all from working class backgrounds, but all of us went to uni and now work in varying professions. Over time, as we've got older, slower and better off, our various stag parties have got more and more middle class - from the booze-and-strippers tear-up in Dublin's Temple Bar when the first of us got married, to the camping trip to North Wales for the last-but-one one (first thing we did was hit Waitrose for croissants and brie. And booze, obviously.) This decline should culminate at this stag, where the groom has decided that, rather than buy 'comedy' t-shirts, he's getting everyone a cravat for Saturday night. Then again, it is Dartmouth, so I doubt anyone will bat an eyelid. Next week I'll be getting stuff done around the house, walking on the moors, and watching Stage 5 of the Tour of Britain. I'll also be hard in training, because on Saturday I'll be up in Bath, entering the second ever British Beard & Moustache Championships. I don't have a wild and crazy beard, so I will be entering the Business Class category. It's just a bit of fun really, and I'm not expecting to win or place. My barber, on the other hand, is incredibly excited about the whole thing, to the point where he's attending himself, and has been chastising me for not moisturising my beard every day. I'm off for trims tomorrow and next Friday, and I have visions of my sessions in the barber's chair being like this. Then again, as the boss is convinced that we're having a bromance, maybe it'll be more like this... If you see nothing here about Popmundo, the supposed main thrust of this entire blog, it's because nothing is happening there. I'm thinking about starting playing Track King again to while away a lunchtime or two. I'll leave you for now with some of the other staples of this blog: cricket, heavily tattooed women, and music you'll hate. I thoroughly enjoyed the England/South Africa women's T20 game last night. Charlotte Edwards' batting showed everything that guys like Ali Cook should be doing in limited overs cricket - no slogging, manoeuvre the ball into gaps, and run hard. I like Ali Cook a lot, but he needs to figure out that not everything is a fucking test match, and get on with it. I'd sooner see him get 25-30 fairly quickly than 50-70 sloooooooooooowly. What are your thoughts, gentle reader? Yeah, that's what I thought. While looking around for possible rockabilly events to attend (that's my transparent excuse, and I'm sticking to it...) I have recently stumbled across the very lovely Kandy K, an English model who's defected to the States, where she no doubt has a wider choice of rockabilly shows to attend. Expect her to appear as the face claim of one of Rice's bastard spawn sometime soon. You're welcome. And lastly I will leave you with a track that's been in heavy rotation on my Spotify account this week. I've been mostly dealing in words rather than drawings, so there's been lots of bleeps and bloops, and less lyrics. I know, I know: tl;dr. No doubt I will bug you lovely people during my week off, but if I don't it's because I hate you. :)
Butters has asked where the heavily tattooed women and cricket references are. The answer is: they're right here, homies! Let's start with the cricket. Oh my giddy aunt, does the England side look bad right now. We didn't bowl too badly in the first test, but we were an absolute shower with the bat. Too many people out of form and, what's worse, no-one seems to want to knuckle down, dig in and grind. Yes, it's not a lot of fun to watch. but what England really needed in the first innings of their second test was a Boycottesque 350 that took the best part of two days out of the game. Slow everything down and take some heat out of the Aussie attack. Don't get me wrong, the Aussies are bowling well, but we are batting abysmally. A turgid draw in this test might just have taken a little spring out of the legs of Mitchell Johnson et al. As it stands, I can see the Aussies doing us 4-1 (I'm predicting a Gower-era style last test victory when we've already taken a shoeing. :P) What was the other thing again? Oh yeah! This: *Dribble...* The only thing that could make that image more perfect would be tattoos showing through her stockings. Oh, and for the thing on her head to fly away. :P
In Popmundo news, Shay and Océ continue to become closer still. Feel free to slap him if he starts acting all lovestruck in public! Vera has knuckled down and is starting to churn out songs, so I'll have to get writing soon. I discovered a song in my notepad that I don't thing I ever blogged - have you lot seen the one about her attractive in-laws? Lastly, I'm personally feeling better after a shitty week last week. I'm still a snotty little urchin, but things are getting better overall. It's still so mild here - 8-10 degC in the daytime - that the house is sweltering with just the Rayburn running. We've barely lit the woodburner. It better get cold soon, the woodshed is bull to bursting, and I want to get chopping! :D A Lyrical Wanker, that is. I'm not exactly sure what the deal is behind this social club, but it'll probably be just as fun as the Playboy social club (with less creepy pedo-bear vibes...) Anyway, I'm a sucker for anything that promotes lyrics in the game, so V has signed up. Shay may follow, I suppose, but I would've thought that one character in the club is enough (they can always ask me to pass info along. :P) While we're on the subject, V and Shay came second in the recent NYC lyric contest, that I'm sure you've ALL heard of, what with everyone giving a flying one about such things. She was beaten into 2nd place by this lady's efforts. V was her usual magnanimous self, but I will be blunt and say FUCK THAT BINT, I SHOULDDA WON!!11!!!eleven!! I jest, of course - her entry was much more New Yorky. It's all looking very tight in the 4th test. I think it might be squeaky bum time soon, if we don't nick a few wickets soonish. Hmm, anything else? Oh yes - I think I've found the perfect redhead for Ricicle's new character: Maybe wait for Xoxo to grogrow up a bit... Here endeth the perv. [/perv]
Yeah, I still need to work on my titles. Anyhoo... So what's up in the worlds of V, Shay and Bread? Well, all three of us have been moved to despair by the political situation in London and beyond over the last few days. I know that everyone's had a gutfull of it by now, so I will not rehash shit for the millionth time. V continues to bimble on without much of a clue, but I'm conscious that, really, I need to find her a purpose sooner rather than later or she'll just waste away. I may pimp her out in the forums, and see if any interesting Punk, Country or Goth bands take her fancy. She's got all the skills, and is quite capable of following orders, but isn't the best/most motivated band leader. Failing that, I'll set to work writing cricket songs. And speaking of cricket, England should win the Ashes in the next five days, against as bad an Aussie side as I've seen. I'm really hoping that the return of Warner, who seems like he's a bit of a bell-end, but talented nevertheless, will spark a bit of a revival, as the second test was almost embarrassing. Then again, every time I'm tempted to feel sorry for them, I'm reminded of what bad winners and terrible losers so many in the Australian cricketing system and press are, and I think 'nah, fuck 'em!' And the football season starts next week which, as an Argyle fan, is usually 9 months of misery, so I'm determined to enjoy this sporting high! Lastly, Shay is hoovering up skill stars in LA. Nix has been reprieved, so now he just has to remember to hump her leg whenever Joni is in town (kidding! Maybe... :P) Layla and Summer are not dying yet, so hope remains there. I've spoken to their user a fair bit and in my opinion she's one of the good guys, but I think even she would admit that she can take things to heart too much. I'm therefore hoping that this is an in-game blow-up gone bad, rather than serious OOC issues. Fingers crossed for you mate! PS - Don't think I haven't noticed Ricicles to steal male readers away by posting pictures of women hand bra-ing. Well, two can play that game, missy! And, as you don't even mention sports, all blokes should be directed here. Pretty please? No, I know she's not hand bra-ing, Ricicles. It's called class; look it up... PPS - Actually, I did toy with with switching V's face claim to Sabina Kelley full time, instead of doing lots of time-consuming (and poor quality) photo editing. The fact that she's mostly a blonde convinced me otherwise though.
PPS - I can't believe that I haven't mentioned it already, but you should all add Butters' weebly to your to-read list. Who else teaches you shit about Russian desserts, and how to get shit-faced like a girl? Okey dokey, it seems the regular and semi-regular readership is now up a possible FIVE (5) people! Better get Google AdSense on here sharpish... But seriously, it's cool that people check in here occasionally to read me banging on about fuck all. Props to you all. So, what's new? Well, Popmundo-wise, precious little. Oh! Nearly forgot - Shay got chewed out about hitting on two sisters (at different times, I should point out - he wasn't sharking on both simultaneously) and, as he's now had both sisters in his ear about it, I expect it will reinforce his own sneaking suspicions that he's a sleazebag. But only for a while - I can never be bothered to play him angsty for long. Lacking a lot of other ideas, I may just have him go Vera-quiet for a bit until inspiration strikes. Out in the real world, England are scratching their way back after a horrible morning. Geddon Trotty - grind those runs out! What else? Well, I've been having a bit of a Mythbusters binge lately. How can any nerd not love Mythbusters? It features relatively home-made experiments, discourages woolly thinking, and as a nice little side benefit, features the always lovely Kari Byron. Now I know what she looks like, and you probably do too, but fuck it; I mentioned her name, and that's reason enough in my book: Like a screen door... Ahem! Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, as I was writing this, Trott decides to stop grinding out those runs and get himself out. Ho hum. I suppose that if we get at least one partnership from Bell, Bairstow and Prior, and the tail wags a bit, we could still reach something half respectable. Lastly, the new RA the Rugged Man album has been in heavy rotation on my mp3 player lately, and so I figured I may as well annoy you fuckers with it. If you like Hip Hop at all, you should give it a listen. And even if you don't, it's only one verse, and maybe it'll open your eyes to a world beyond Lil Wayne and Kanyeze (not that there's anything wrong with either of them): So, the weekend was full of beer-related fun for your host. Alas, that meant that V missed meeting up with Fay in Moscow. They've barely seen each other since the wedding, which, combined with hearing the following on the radio on Sunday, lead me to writing the song currently languishing in Vera's blog. Disgusting... I also have a couple of ideas for songs for Shay that I will work on.
I found out on Friday that this site has another reader, which I believe brings the total readership up to the dizzying heights of 2.5 people! World domination surely beckons… And, lastly, how exciting was that first test match? The answer you’re looking for is ‘very’. Otherwise, you’re wrong. Just realised that I hadn't updated Ellis' vital statistics. Like anyone cares.
Joni and Irish went MeNtAl last night (yes, moreso than usual!) so expect Shay to hide out in the New World until everything blows over. :D I continue to largely ignore Vera. Bad Bread! Bad! The Ashes started to day. After a decent morning session, we're dropping wickets to the very ordinary Peter Siddle. Fix up, England! Work + Heat = Don'wanna. Roll on the drunken weekend. |
WTF?!This site contains out-of-character information for characters and events in the MMO Popmundo, as well as general navel-gazing and apologies for never updating. "If you are offended by words like: Shit! Bitch! Fuck! Dick! Ass! Whore! Cum!" Ice-T
Who the Hell?!
The author is a professional person in his mid-30s, old-school Hip Hop head, Punk Rock fan, Plymouth Argyle supporter, comic book reader, and general lo-fi nerd. He lives in the countryside with two cats and newly-wed wife, all of whom seem to be above him in the pecking order. He is a big fan of tea, fig rolls, H.P. Lovecraft, facial hair and quiffs. While MPB robbed him of his quiff-rocking dreams, he does sport a dope handlebar moustache. Categories
All
|